Young Women in Recovery

by Shelley Hughes

Since 1935, when Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) was founded, an increasing number of young women have entered recovery programs based on the twelve steps of AA. As more and more young women have entered recovery programs over the last twenty years, we have found that young women's recovery may differ in significant ways from young men's recovery, and that a number of issues unique to young women are overlooked in most twelve step programs. Some of these issues include the effect on young women of the language of the twelve steps, the psychological development of women as it relates to addiction and recovery, and the social and cultural factors that affect women. Coupled with these issues is adolescence itself and how females develop differently than males during this critical stage of development. Adolescent females often feel lost in the language of the traditional twelve step recovery program, which was written by men for men's needs in recovery in a time when women had few resources and little social, political, or economic power.

Many adolescent females come to treatment after it becomes apparent that their lives have become unmanageable due to drug abuse and dependence. Some start using as early as age 12 and do not enter treatment until they reach 16 or 17, thus establishing a long pattern of substance abuse that becomes progressively worse with age. For many young females under the influence trauma occurs that is often forgotten due to blackouts, or unreported due to parental reprisal and shame. Women who abuse chemical substances place themselves at risk for trauma at any age, but especially in their adolescence. The incidence of rape rises significantly for females under the influence, as do incidents of emotional and physical abuse. Traumatized females may grow into many types of adults, and a fortunate few experience only the ordinary problems in daily life. Most, however, are afflicted with psychological scars that cripple them in myriad ways: Some feel anxiety and depression, while other manifest these wounds in troubled relationships, life-threatening symptoms, and dangerous behavior patterns.

Though young men and women who are victims of child/adolescent trauma feel similar types of pain, they often express it in different ways. Males who are traumatized in childhood/adolescence often inflict upon others what was done to them, because they are socialized to act aggressively and to fight back rather than to allow someone to harm or humiliate them. On the other hand, women are socialized to not fight back; allowing themselves to be hurt or humiliated is far more socially acceptable than being aggressive or violent towards others. While there are some women who become abusers themselves, it is much more likely that female victims of trauma will inflict pain on themselves rather than others. Self-injurious behaviors such as self-mutilation, eating disorders, suicidal behavior, drug abuse, and compulsive exposure to danger are attempts by female adolescents to escape feelings of emptiness, depersonalization, and unreality; to ease tension; to express emotional pain; and to punish the body as a way of expressing responsibility for the abuse.

Establishing and creating support networks is an essential part of decreasing and extinguishing the symptoms of drug related trauma. As a young woman lets go of her symptoms, she experiences a roller coaster ride of positive feelings, discomforts, and sometimes health related problems. Support systems, including medical professionals, therapy groups, community service groups, and spiritual resources, along with family and friends, all help young women get through this challenging and often excruciatingly painful phase of recovery. Perhaps, one of the most important vehicles that offers the possibility of community is a variety of twelve-step programs. When a young woman shares her stories with others who struggle with similar issues, she breaks out of her isolation and secrecy. She feels the power of being connected to others so that she is able to admit that she is powerless over her addictions.

Another important aspect of a recovery program is that it offers a simple, manageable frame for making enormous changes in one's life. The admonitions to live in the here and now, or one day at a time, and to keep the focus on one's own recovery, not others, are important ways to organize what has felt like a totally unmanageable life. Stopping the symptomatic behavior is essential to a sense of gaining control for young women.

There are some stumbling blocks that may keep young women from becoming involved in twelve-step programs and it is important to address these so that alternatives to traditional recovery programs may be assessed. Despite the twelve-step's strict adherence to confidentiality, young women who have suffered trauma may feel reluctant to disclose in a manner that feels unsafe; secrecy has been a protection for them in the past and they may feel threatened by disclosure. Another stumbling block is the negative response many young women have to the concept of turning their lives over to a Higher Power, an omnipotent deity watching over everyone. They may be resistant to the idea of admitting powerlessness when disempowerment has been the pervasive experience of being a young female under the influence. The twelve-step maxim "Let go and let God" may be unacceptable because it feels disempowering. There are many ways to help young women translate these ideas (which remind them of the religion and sexism of daily life that they have rejected) into more acceptable concepts so that they may find the community in a recovery program that helps them to begin to let go of the symptoms of their abuse.

Closely related to the twelve-step recovery model is Women for Sobriety (WFS). Started in the 1970s by Jean Kirkpatrick, who had herself struggled unsuccessfully with the traditional AA model, this program encourages women to take a more holistic and woman-centered approach to recovery. Women in WFS are encouraged to meditate, eat healthy food, and treat themselves with love and care. Non-sexist language is used that refers to spirituality rather than to God or a Higher Power. Women for sobriety is able to focus on the woman's addiction problems while also acknowledging that she is a victim of a patriarchal system that engenders and feeds female self-hatred and abuse of the body. Because WFS meetings are not widespread, it is important to gain an understanding of the language of the steps which may appear archaic and sexist to many young women. Recovery guides, such as A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps, by Stephanie S. Covington, Ph.D., provide ways to understand the original spirit of the program without rewriting the twelve-steps. Rather than rewrite the steps in a way that attempts to fit all women, Dr. Covington's recovery guide encourages young women to work with the original steps, paying close attention to the spirit and meaning, reinterpreting the language to support young women's recovery. It urges young women to look inside themselves and reframe the original wording in a way that works best for them.

At the Academy at Swift River, young women meet weekly to journey the twelve-steps. Even though they may not be ready to concede to themselves that they are suffering from an addiction, they might be ready to admit that some areas of their lives are chaotic or out of control. For many of them there is a growing awareness that things must change. As this feeling gets stronger, they find that they are ready to admit that they need help and to accept help when it is offered, even if they didn't seek it first. Together, they find themselves on a recovery journey. This journey takes them through the twelve steps from a woman's perspective. They delve into how the steps help them to explore addictions and work to heal and change themselves, creating the possibility of a new and different life. They are surprised by their growing ability to use the twelve steps in the four areas of their life where they say they experience the most change: self, relationship, sexuality, and spirituality.